AFR | July 08 2008 | Fiona Smith

Leaders who are willing to reveal their human side, with all its frailties, can be more effective, writes Fiona Smith.

The chief executive walked into the room for the first executive meeting after the funeral of his father, the founder of the Fortune 1000 company. The others, not sure how to respond, waited for the leader to set the tone.

The CEO picked up the agenda and went to introduce the first item when he was interrupted by a question from the floor: "Tom, your father has just died. What is the impact on this company and your willingness to continue to be the CEO?"

The questioner was a consultant to the company, David Bradford, senior lecturer in leadership and director of the executive program in leadership at Stanford University in the US.

"He was a bit taken aback," says Bradford, on the phone from his home in Berkeley, California. But is was enough to steer the grieving man away from a business-as-usual approach, which would have denied his feelings and made others at the table feel uncomfortable.

The CEO, haltingly at first, then more freely, talked about how important it was for him to honour his father’s legacy and continue the family tradition of leading his company.

"It had a wonderful effect on the others in the room, in a very position way. Much more so than if he had started off with the first item on the agenda. They saw him as a much more rounded human being," Bradford says.

This CEO, where identity Bradford declines to reveal, had been about to fall into a trap, which is all too common for leaders - the belief they must seem unassailable, invulnerable and all knowing. When people become leaders in an organisation, they usually come with an exceptional back pack of self-doubts and uncertainties. If these weaknesses are revealed, they fear, they will lose the respect of those around them and people will stop following their instructions.